So many things I wanted to tell you...

Love and fear

2011-09-10T14:05:00.000-05:00

Gretchen Kemp wrote, "There's this place in me where your fingerprints still rest, your kisses still linger, and your whispers softly echo. It's the place where a part of you will forever be a part of me."

Was Tennyson correct? Is it truly better to have loved and lost then never loved at all?

I don't even know how to go about answering this question. I just know that love for one person draws us closer to all the other people in our lives... I know that when you love someone you just want to be close to them.

Love made me a better person. I cared more for my other friends; I saw the world through rose-colored glasses. Every bird that sang and every person I saw playing any sport reminded me of the one I loved.... the one I love.

Removing the person from my life that I cared so much for also removed my rose colored glasses. I became more jealous, more selfish (as if that were possible), but every bird and every athlete still remind me of that person.

Maybe he was right. Maybe it's not about if there is someone else out there that you could be with- because really, there always is. Maybe it's just about if you can make that particular person happy for the rest of their life.

Maybe you always expect that person to leave you, because all you've ever known is people who make a cameo appearance in your life movie and then have a permanent exit. But maybe this person is written into every scene, and if you exit stage right then you'll be throwing yourself into a completely different movie. Maybe your new movie will be worse, maybe it will be better. Maybe you'll have ruined the first movie for all your supporting characters... maybe you'll ruin your own movie and have no supporting characters or other main stars.

That's what I'm afraid of. I'm afraid of walking into a new set with nobody by my side to hold my hand.

Love never dies a natural death.It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals.It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing. -Anais Nin

For the record...

2011-07-20T09:47:00.000-05:00

I have actually been reading. But I've only read three or four books since my last post. That said, I am obviously not going to make the 50 books this year. 25 would be nice, but is doubtful. I do love to read, but I like it more when i'm on a stationary bike so I'm burning more calories.

Over the 2 years I've had this thing, I've had several people read it. Lately I expect nobody has stopped by because nothing has changed.

This past week actually marks a new chapter in my life. I may share more about it later; I may not. It depends. All that you need to know is that from here on out, things should be a little different for me.

Clyde.

First of all, I have a new dog. He's a rescue. They were going to put him down! I couldn't help it. My parents weren't too terribly thrilled, but they like him now. It was kinda hard to find an apartment that would let me keep him... he's almost 60 lbs of pure muscle now, and he's still thin from when I got him!

He is an american bulldog who is a little territorial over me. I think he knows I rescued him =] All we need to do for Halloween is draw a circle around his eye and call him Petey!

I think I'll be Darla. My bff Emile can be Alfalfa. I'll let her know about this later.

I wanna take ballet. Groupon?

Book #4: Crime and Punishment

2011-04-03T21:11:00.001-05:00

To go wrong in one's own way is better than to go right in someone else's. In the first case you are a man, in the second you're no better than a bird. Truth won't escape you, but your life will be cramped. -Razumihin, Crime and Punishment

Alienation, heroes, poverty and the psychology of the criminal are major themes presented in Crime and Punishment. Dostoyevsky paints a picture of a man with much potential who- some may say- threw that potential away by committing the heinous crime of murder. But upon the act of murdering a helpless old woman, he was illustrating a principle of the 'superman', a superior man who was above the law, and therefore almost had a duty to break the laws, which were only in place for the average men. So, in his own mind he was acting correctly, but ended up turning himself in to the law at the very last, to face his punishment.

Good things: amazing novel about good vs. evil, the criminal psyche, strains in relationships
Bad things: There are many characters in this novel, all of whose names are Russian, making it a little difficult to stay on top of all of them, really long- so if you can't finish it all w/in a certain amount of time it gets discouraging

I have to be honest here, and the truth is that I didn't actually read the entire book. It's just SOOOOOO long! I read half of it, but didn't have much free time so was losing track of all the characters. I found a detailed summary on cliffsnotes.com instead and finished it that way. One day I'll come back to it... When I'm not in school trying to 'make the grades'. Maybe this summer?? It really is a phenomenal novel I would recommend to anyone with tons of free time!

Book #3: Racing Weight

2011-02-04T15:56:00.000-06:00

You cannot propel yourself forward by patting yourself on the back. -Prefontaine

Racing Weight: How to Get Lean for Peak Performance, by Matt Fitzgerald of Runner's World Magazine, is a great nutritional guide for the endurance athlete looking to improve their performance in ways other than training more. He presents a "5-step plan for endurance athletes."

Step one. Improve your diet quality.

Step two. Balance your energy sources.

Step three. Time your nutrition.

Step four. Manage your appetite.

Step five. Train Right.

I don't want to give anything away in the actual book itself, so you're just going to have to read it yourself! I will say that I love learning about fitness and nutrition, and this book was a gem! I really enjoyed everything it had to offer, and may share some of my newfound wealth of knowledge in later posts. :)

Nobody falls halfway. (AKA book #2)

2011-01-31T15:04:00.000-06:00

He realized that he had thought only about the first step, never imagined the last.

-Colum McCann

My second book of the year was the "National Book Award" winning best-seller Let the Great World Spin by Colum McCann. The preface opens with a man walking a tightrope between the world trade centers (the twin towers), and the first chapter embarks on a completely different story. The book is sub-divided into four smaller "books" and each had three or four chapters, each respectively following the story of different people's lives. Eventually you see how these people from different socio-economic statuses (statii??) are all inter-related, even though they may not directly know each other. Let the Great World Spin connects the reader on a personal level with individuals who are normally looked down upon or immediately judged without further thought... but that's all i'm going to give away of the story line.

Let the Great World Spin is a fantastic read if you want a novel that will capture you and leave you feeling like you have a different (better, even?) outlook on life. I can't really describe it, but you can read it yourself and find out! I mean, there has to be some reason why it was a national book award winner and best-seller.
That said, I do have to warn you of a few problems with the writing. You have to keep in mind that this is a very realistic, worldly book. There is a whole lot of cursing, because that's real. There are differing views of God presented, because there are real people out there who see things that way. There is prostitution and drugs presented in a very real manner because there are people who don't know of a better way to live- for them it's the only means of survival. This book will open your eyes to a side of the city (in this case, New York) that you probably have never considered before. But if you can get past these issues then I would definitely recommend this book to you as a great read.

If you have read it, or decide to read it please let me know either on here or facebook! I would love to hear any feedback you may have!

Progress.

2011-01-19T21:39:00.000-06:00

You might have noticed that I changed my blog. It was on purpose, don't worry! (Because I know you will.)

One of my recently (last few days) thought up New Year's Resolutions is to read 100 books this year. It was pointed out to me that this is about 2 books a week, and since I'm in college, that is extremely unrealistic. (Unless, of course, Dr. Suess and Amelia Bedelia count.) SO, my new and improved goal is to read 50 books this year. And if I read more that is totally okay. I plan on writing up a little something for every book I read to keep you updated!

I still need to make a final list of my resolutions, but, it's already evening of the 19th so it's not like you're holding your breath! I'll get around to it...

BUT without further ado........
.... my first book review!!!

Book #1. The Prince and the Pauper, by Mark Twain.

The lovely story of a prince and a pauper, trading lives by accident, and how it changed their, and many other people's futures, and everyone was eventually better off. Sorry if that ruined the ending for ya ;)
But for real, that's pretty much all that happened...

Literature adds to reality, it does not simply describe it. It enriches the necessary competencies that daily life requires and provides; and in this respect, it irrigates the deserts that our lives have already become. - C. S. Lewis

Life Realization #24: I like cold weather, except when i'm exercising in it.

2011-01-19T07:51:00.000-06:00

I can't believe it's been a year since I started this thing... and to think, I started it to keep people updated on my progress towards a race I didn't complete- yet. I will run a marathon, but I kinda want to wait until after college. Maybe right after college, like the summer afterward, but still after. And I still want to run for Team in Training. Not very many of my goals in general have changed over the last year, but we'll come back to that later. I have updates for you!

I'll start with Christmas day. It seems like a logical place to start, and maybe even finish. So on Christmas day it started snowing in the late afternoon. This was the first time it had snowed in our area on Christmas in over 1 or 2 hundred something years! Well, my brother lives a few miles away at his own place, so that night my brother and his dog got in the front seat of my boyfriend's Mustang convertible, my boyfriend was driving, and I was in the back seat behind my brother. We were obeying all the traffic laws, going the speed limit, using turn signals, etc. Well we stopped at a stop sign, and BAM! - we got hit by a truck. Specifically, a '96 fire engine red F-150, "Built Ford Tough" (c). We were kinda freakin out a little bit. I hit my head on the roll bar, but nothing serious. The dog (a 20 yr old pug, yes, 20, that wasn't a typo) was fine. The driver of the other vehicle pulled over and came towards our window to see if everyone was alright. The driver was my dad! What are the chances....

The Happy Ending:
My boyfriend's car wasn't completely totaled- just almost. And it got a new shiny paint job! My dad's truck walked away with a tiny dent in the bumper. Built Ford Tough. Good slogan. Too bad the Mustang isn't "Ford Tough" too.

So I believe that pretty much catches you up from last year! I'll add a New Year's post later =]

Congratulations are in order for the Pumpkin!

2010-11-05T18:00:00.000-05:00

Hold on, man. We don't go anywhere with "scary," "spooky," "haunted," or "forbidden" in the title. ~From Scooby-Doo

The girl's dragon tattoo. That I drew :)

That's exactly how I feel about scary movies. So I didn't really feel too bad when I skipped out on some movie that had "Ghosts" in the title somewhere (which should be in Shaggy's list up there) after the Halloween get together at the bowling alley. On the bright side, Halloween was still a success... even though I'm awful at bowling and therefore never do it, giving myself no opportunity for improvement. But my costume was awesome.

Agent P, Lisbeth Salander (The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo),
and the Nerd. No party is complete w/o the nerd.

Sidenote: I ran with a friend a few days before Halloween, and we were discussing how/why on earth people stick a light into a hallowed out pumpkin with a face carved in it around Halloween. We came up with some great theories and suggestions, but I researched it (and no, I'm not a nerd. Dork, maybe. Nerd, no.) Turns out that Halloween is the night that all the ghosts come out of the grave to steal as many souls as they can, so frightened villagers used to believe that if they left a hallowed something out with a scary face and light in it that it would scare the ghosts away, and they could sleep peacefully, and their souls would be safe. Well, they used a whole bunch of different vegetables- starting with gourds and squash, then eventually figured out that pumpkins are the best because they are hard to break and hold their shape well. (And, as my running partner pointed out, watermelons would roll away, but pumpkins have a flat bottom.) They were called Jack-O-Lanterns because something about Jack and it looking like a lantern with the light in it. That's where I quit reading :)

That's all I got. No motivational speeches for today.... Hope you had a great Halloween :)

One child saved can change the world.

2010-10-25T11:00:00.000-05:00

Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today. ~James Dean

Life is so brief. Once a moment passes- it's gone. Forever. What are you doing with those moments? Are you investing yourself fully into everything you do? When you are at work, are you giving 100% of everything that you have for that 8 hours every day? Or do you goof off, trying to pass the time? Do you invest yourself fully into all of your relationships? I'm not just talking boyfriend/girlfriend, but I mean do you care about those you encounter daily? That girl you sit by in your history class- she's been looking really sad lately. Do you even know her name? You never know; you two could end up being really good friends, or at least make going to class less of a chore. There are so many opportunities we miss on a daily, minute-to-minute, moment-to-moment basis. And in the span of a moment, it could all be gone.

Last Friday I decided to break from running to swim some laps at the pool. (A lifeguard should be in top swimming shape, right?) When I got there every lane already had two people, so I sat down and messed around with my phone for a minute. I heard a loud bang, looked up, and saw the lifeguard diving into the water. I looked further and saw a girl face down in the water shaking. I grabbed a backboard and started to run over, but saw that another lifeguard-certified guy was already down there, so I dropped it and ran over to help. He pulled her out of the water- she was still having a seizure- and put her on her side. She was unconscious. A woman nearby started to call campus security, and a guy who had been swimming called an ambulance. I figured out who this girl was and called my boss and then residence life so they could call her parents. It was so terrifying. She finally regained consciousness and moved a little bit, but she couldn't really speak. We all just stood around staring at her, unable to do anything for her until the paramedics arrived. They finally did, and took care of her and took her to the hospital. She is completely fine now; it turns out that she was epileptic, and has seizures every once in a while. No big. I had never seen a seizure before, so it was kind of a big deal.

This whole situation got me thinking about my appreciation for- not just life- but everything in life. Many people go through the motions of life without ever fully living. When I look back on my life, I want to be able to say that I sucked out all the possible life that I could have.

At the risk of seeming like I'm just throwing God in here as an afterthought (because I'm really not), how can we possibly live to our fullest without Him? If He created us (which I believe He did) then only He can complete us. I write all of this with only life in light of God in mind.

Many people die with their music still in them. Why is this so? Too often it is because they are always getting ready to live. Before they know it, time runs out. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes

The Difference Between Accounting and Wolf Spiders

2010-09-11T20:47:00.000-05:00

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear- not absence of fear. Except a creature be part coward it is not a compliment to say it is brave. ~ Mark Twain

Out of order rendition of my day, perhaps not properly named:

Main event:

I was having a pretty good day today, until I decided to clean my room. Bad idea. I hung up one of my jackets, and saw some sort of spider web on a navy hoodie next to it. I have no idea what I was thinking, but I absent-mindedly began to just pick the web off, without moving the jacket at all. Then I saw this ginormous spider... on my jacket... in my closet. I screamed. Loudly. And proceeded to call every person I knew who wasn't scared of spiders to come kill it, as I tried to contain my tears. (I cry when I get scared. NO scary movies for me....) Luckily, one of best friend's boyfriends was only twenty minutes away, so he graciously came over and took care of it for me. AND searched through all of my clothes for any more, so I would feel better. I doubt I will still sleep there tonight. I literally shudder every time I think about this awful ordeal.

A couple of weeks ago...:
On the day I moved into my new room for this year/ semester, whatever, I thought it'd be a good idea to look out of my window... from my actual window. So I put my arm on the wall to support me getting in the window, and, to my obvious surprise, my arm found itself through the wall.

Yes, that IS a supporting beam
in the building.

A few days later...:
Maintenance came to "fix" it. They made it bigger and said they were gonna let it dry out (the air conditioner had been leaking) before they plastered it. AND they said they'd come back in a few days to fix it up.

A week later....:
No maintenance.

Today...:
Huge spider. HAD to have come through that lack of wall.

Couple of hours later... still today:
Duct taped a Wall Street Journal over the gaping hole. Try to come through that, vermin!

After my break down and subsequent relief of huge spider being abolished:
I go to Panera to study. For over FOUR hours. I'm still here. And they're about to close. So I'm about to leave. And buy bug spray. And drench my room. And sleep somewhere else.

Side story:
I got a whole bunch of flash cards made for my managerial accounting class. I hate accounting. I'm border-line scared of accounting. Okay, I'm terrified. We've been in school two weeks, and I would say that I've already put over ten hours into this class, outside of class. In the past, I would be doing well to put ten hours in a class over the course of a semester. Really well.

Overview:
I'm terrified of spiders, especially big ones invading upon my territory. I can at least appreciate their existence a tiny tiny bit when they're in the woods or something. ANYWAY... I'm also terrified of accounting. Or, at least, accounting exams.

The Point:
The difference is I am fighting accounting back. I just screamed and got some other (braver?) person to fight the spider back for me. When it comes to accounting, I refuse to go down without a fight. And who knows, I may win! (doubtful, but at least i'm trying...) When it comes to terrifying arachnids, I choose to remain a coward and let someone else fight for me. In my opinion, feel free to call me brave, but I am most definitely a coward. Maybe one day I'll be able to fight my own battles there, but don't hold your breath ;)

Of jellyfish and robots.

2010-07-24T23:20:00.000-05:00

So today I was lifeguarding. One of the counsellors asked me if she could go rinse off in the ocean. I said no, but she went anyway. [Thanks]. Well, the tide was going out, and it was leaving deep ish puddles of water in its wake. In one of these puddles was a jellyfish. Of course we kept it. And named it Jerry.

Jellyfish are interesting creatures. With no bones, heart, or brain, they process nerve impulses to be able to directly react to danger and food stimuli. It is a mystery how they process these impulses with no brain. Jellyfish are 95% water, but some species are considered a delicacy in countries such as Japan. They contain large portions of protein, and some experts are contemplating using jellyfish as a solution for global hunger.

Being a solution to global hunger is noble and all, but however noble, I have personally never heard anyone ever wish they were a jellyfish. They just float. Sometimes they eat other animals. But they don't get in fights, like mammals. They don't take care of their young. They don't have emotions. (Or, re-interating, brains.) I'm sure God made them for some purpose, but I do not think that purpose was for us to freak out whenever we go to the beach. I could be wrong. Maybe he was just showing off his creativity. Have you ever touched the top of a jellyfish? It feels amazing. I am reminded of Finding Nemo, specifically, Dory.

I shall call him Squishy and he shall be mine and he shall be my Squishy. Come on, Squishy. Come on little Squishy.

Anywho... all jellyfish can do is what God wired them to do- eat, and sting people. Kind of like robots. They only have the capability to do whatever they were wired to do. What if God had created us like that? We would just exist. No choices, no emotions, no planning, no love. But if you think about it, we were "wired" to worship Him. He just gave us a brain, which, in this context is kind of like just giving us a choice. With no choice, there would be no love. With no love, there is absolutely no purpose for us here on Earth. Kind of like jellyfish. And robots.

2010-07-22T21:21:00.000-05:00

"You've achieved success in your field when you don't know whether what you're doing is work or play."
~Warren Beatty

I am currently sitting on my top bunk bed in a room shared by two other girls with whom I have the opportunity of working this summer. The first half of the summer for me was spent taking a chemistry class at school. The whole terrible ordeal was only made better through the friendships that grew in the duration of the class, and the knowledge that I would be here the second half of the summer. Let me just try to express for a minute just how obvious it was that God wanted me here this summer. I had been planning on taking a couple of classes at my local hometown college in hopes of finding some kind of job in my little town in the middle of Nowheres-ville, Ga. Well, my GPA was a little bruised from taking chemistry (F) in the fall at the same time as an upper level bio class (B+). [Bad call- I had never taken a real chem class before. Or bio for that matter.] Anywho, my awesome chemistry lab (B+) professor sat down with me at lunch one day and talked me into coming back in the first summer term to take chem again with her, in hopes for a better grade, to replace it on my GPA. Well, I did, and got a B+, with very many thanks to the Lord. But I realized that the only summer job I would be able to get (sans staying in Birmingham for ALL summer) would be to find a camp. The camp I worked at last summer had already hired people, besides the fact that my job (horseback instructor) required me to be there all summer. Most camps had already hired their summer staff at this point. Well, I had volunteered with the Fresh Air Home in the past, and decided to just try to email them to see if they were still hiring. Turns out that the guy who answered my email was the same guy I had met a few months prior at a coffee shop. (Small world, AKA God.) Well, perfect timing. The staff interview weekend was that weekend, four days away, seven hours away. I wasn't doing anything, so I went. And got the job. And here I am. And oh how I can see God's hand at work. It's amazing. And I'm on a break right now, and am about to go do something fun and exciting. So just ready yourself for the next installment, where I will post some of the letters my campers have given me. It will be worth it.

2010-07-01T14:10:00.000-05:00

Was Tennyson on track with his famous, "'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all"? Or was Yakamochi closer to truth with, "Better never to have met you in my dream than to wake and reach for hands that are not there." Regardless, Socrates said it best when he stated, "The hottest love has the coldest end."

It might be a stretch, but I would venture to say that these love quotes could pertain other things in life, besides people. Yeah, sure, you may love a guy/girl (meant as either/or, not a transvestite, although I am sure they are loved too- I've just never met one). But if you passionately love somebody and then suddenly they are gone, it leaves a void in your heart. You can also passionately love an activity or an object, and if you are abruptly snatched away from it, it would leave the same emptiness. Well, maybe not the same emptiness, but just go with me here- I have a point, I promise.
Does a girl who was stricken with blindness at age fifteen regret the fact that she ever had the opportunity to see beauty, now that she's left in darkness? Or does she relish her memories of sight, tenderly remembering what she had? Perhaps, with the right attitude, she secretly enjoys the freedom she now has. Most people will never have the opportunity to 'see' without their eyes getting in the way.* I would imagine that blind people have the capacity to perceive things that us gifted with sight will never know. In this case, I would imagine that Tennyson overrules.
I'm not one to speak to being "in love", per say, but I have had persons pass on or leave who I cared for deeply, and I know for a fact that I wouldn't trade all the pain and hurt of loss in the world for the memories that we had together.
Overall, I guess that Tennyson takes the cake for being able to put into words something that I am sure many of us have felt. My point for all this, then, is to do everything with all of yourself. Never be too scared to love for fear of being hurt, because life is too short to miss out on.
This is put best into words by Mark Twain, who said, "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowliness. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."

*Ben Underwood is an extraordinary example of seeing without sight. He lost his eyes at a young age to cancer, and is the only known person in the world to use the reflection of clicking noises from his mouth to pinpoint the location of walls, stairs, doors, people, etc.

On 'An Occasion to Remember'

2010-06-14T18:30:00.001-05:00

Someone once said, “We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.”

This past weekend, my parents celebrated their 30th anniversary with a vow renewal ceremony followed by an open house for our friends, family, and church members (most of whom fall into the previous two categories). There was SO much cake. Too bad we weren't around during the French Revolution, or Marie Antoinette would've probably said "let them go to the Forsters' house." Overall, the day was amazing, and I don't believe I have ever seen mom so pleased with herself.

She and dad had a lovely time, and hosting this event forced them to finish up our new room we just added to the house. And by "we", I mean "they", b/c I've been at school. So I basically just get to enjoy the finished product, but I didn't have to work any. It's pretty great, I'm not gonna lie.

Aside from the driving home and back, the only bad part was that I ate TONS of food this weekend. It's sad, really. I'm on this, for lack of a better term, 'weight-loss kick' right now... I'm working at the beach next month, so I'm sure you can understand. So, if you see me around, eating something dense with calories, give me a firm stare. Being at the pool so much does help. I swim b/c there's nothing else to do. I need to pick back up the marathon training.

Anyway, the most interesting thing that happened: I got to drive home a drunk man. In a six speed Jeep Wrangler. (Which, btw, is my favorite vehicle.) He was a friend of the family, and had a little bit too much at the place where my brother works... and by a little bit too much, I mean 20- ish shots. It was great. So I drove his car, and my brother followed with a friend. Good times.

I was pretty pleased with myself. I knew my driving a manual abilities would come in handy someday!

Well, I don't really have anything else to say, so here's a few of my favorite pictures from this weekend. I took all of them, except, of course, the one of me :)

"I don't want to gain the whole world and lose my soul"

2010-04-17T08:54:00.000-05:00

Alice came to a fork in the road. "Which road do I take?" she asked.
"Where do you want to go?" responded the Cheshire cat.
"I don't know," Alice answered.
"Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."
~Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

I have never seen Alice in Wonderland, old or new, but I completely understand where she is coming from here. People make thousands of decisions per day. What to eat, what to wear, and whether or not to make coffee are the more obvious decision making processes. Then you have the smaller decisions, like whether to go up and talk to somebody, or to stay seated. Whether to go to the bathroom now, or wait until the commercial break. Then you have the huge life decisions: where to go to college, what to major in, where to work. If you put all these decisions in light of an ultimate goal, it generally makes the choices more obvious. I've been wondering lately what my ultimate goal is. Am I making decisions based on some bigger picture, or am just blindly wandering around in the dark, chasing shadows? I have a broad, ambiguous idea of what I should do in life. I have a general inkling of what I want to do.
There's a TobyMac song ("Lose My Soul") that talks about 'living in light of eternity'. In light of eternity, all these day to day things that I feel like I deserve mean absolutely nothing. This begs the question: am I living in light of eternity? Are you? With forever before me, am I making worthwhile choices?

A fork in the road

2010-04-17T08:20:00.000-05:00

"The obstacle is the path." ~Zen Proverb

After a pretty rocky obstacle [/path] I am deferring my TNT run to either this fall or next spring. I'll probably do a triathlon instead. So that I am still doing something for TNT this season, I am running a 5K the Saturday after finals at the zoo- so if you would like to participate or donate, let me know!

Until then, I think I'll take a slightly different road on here... Let me know what you think =]

Peace.

2010-03-18T23:50:00.000-05:00

Spring break is upon us.
I ran earlier today.
It was hot.
My run was terrible.
The end.

Not really. But my run was terrible. I've been thinking... Maybe I'm not cut out for this. I'm in it now- too late. But I could bump it down to the half marathon. Whenever I think about that, however, I feel like I am letting people down. Specific people, actually. I am letting down Ron Jones, Bill Pittman, and Betsy Dobbins, only one of whom is still around to realize that I am letting them down. At the same time, it can't be letting them down if I am still raising the money to research, right? But I'm not dedicating myself wholly to the cause by not practicing as much as I know I should...

This is tough.

It is possible to fail in many ways...while to succeed is possible only in one way.
Aristotle (384 BC - 322 BC), Nichomachean Ethics

2010-03-04T23:11:00.000-06:00

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” -Mark Twain

So, recovering from being sick has gone well. Sucking it up and running in this freezing cold weather-- not so much. I have to constantly remind myself why I'm doing this. When it gets TOO cold (like it has been) I normally swim or bike (inside) instead of run. Today I biked on a high level for 45 minutes, then did p90x and refereed a soccer game. Sunday was awesome. I ran five miles, then played soccer for two and a half ish hours, then had a Frisbee game that night. I slept through my 8am class. But it was so worth it. Soccer has been giving me great extra workouts- some awesome sprints- but unfortunately, I haven't been doing enough long distance. I actually got a little hurt in my game tonight... my right ankle is swollen and my left knee has a huge knot under it. I don't think that's good. But tomorrow, I will keep pushing on. Or at least, I'll try. I'll let ya know. Until then, I think I'll pull my shin guards out of storage...

Stomach bugs and Valentine's hugs

2010-02-11T19:21:00.000-06:00

Today I ran 6ish miles in 56 ish minutes. Including the two times I stopped- once for water (approximately 15 seconds) and once because my knee was hurting (a few minutes). And I had to slow down a couple times because of my knee. But I did start out a little slower than usual, which I think was a big help, and really hard for me to do. I think I may have felt the most accomplished when I passed a man. He looked like he was in shape... gave me a run for my money. But in the end, my competitiveness and agile athleticism dominated. Or it may have been because he was old and overweight. But not much overweight!
The reason I haven't posted in about two weeks is because, honestly, I haven't run in about two weeks. I got a bad stomach virus that had been going around right after my last post. It is only supposed to last 24 or 48 hours. Mine lasted six days. Yes, 6. You don't need to get your glasses. I lived off of Gatorade and Pedialite- well, the generic, which by the way, tastes alot like Gatorade these days. Needless to say, I didn't want to see Gatorade again for a while. I did not even try to run during that week, knowing that it would be worthless. Once I was finally over the bug, It was cold outside. Being the wimp I am, I decided to bike and swim instead of run. I only ran once-- about three miles. What I learned: you can effectively cross train and not lose any running skill! The six miles I ran earlier, aside from my knee bugging me periodically, was surprisingly easy! My breathing, and therefore heart rate, was not too heavy the whole time, and my leg muscles weren't burning at the end. (Of course, I was going kind of slow.) I would be willing to argue that a person could just do one long run and one shorter run per week, cross train the rest of the time and effectively train for an event- such as a marathon.
Well, I have nothing further to report on this subject today, except to keep in the forefront of our minds the reason why we are doing this. Not to lose weight (although I really hope I do =]) and not to gain friends (even though I have and am really glad of it), but to raise money for cancer research and hopefully contribute to a cure. That's what we're here for...

"Dreams come true. Without that possibility, nature would not incite us to have them."
John Updike

http://pages.teamintraining.org/al/rnr10/sforster
Please visit my site!

Birthdays and Classes

2010-01-25T19:48:00.000-06:00

Oliver Wendell Holmes once said: Many people die with their music still in them. Too often it is because they are always getting ready to live. Before they know it, time runs out.

So, you guessed it. Today was the day where I officially aged an entire year. yes, I did. That said, I didn't eat well today. I mean, I had a ton of calcium (chocolate) and a whole bunch of energy (carbs). And some chicken. That's about it. But it's totally okay because I ran about four miles. Well, I have a confession.
I didn't want to.
You would think that, since I signed up to do a marathon, I would LOVE running and want to do it constantly. Well, you would be believing a lie. I enjoy running once I get out there- most of the time- but today I did not want to get out there. It was a tiny bit cold outside (lower 60s- hey, I live in the South, that's chilly) so I went to the gym here on campus. All the machines were taken. But I was already in workout apparel. One thing I have learned- once you're in the clothes, it is really hard on your conscience to NOT do something athletic. Or at least for me it is. So I called my dear friend Emile, who was on her way to run, and went with her. Once I started, I was good to go.
It was tough to start, but once you jump in the water's great, right?

"The courage of life is a magnificent mixture of triumph and tragedy. A man does what he must, in spite of personal consequences, in spite of obstacles and dangers and pressures. And that is the basis of all morality." -John F. Kennedy

2010-01-20T23:56:00.001-06:00

Racing a four month old.

2010-01-20T16:32:00.000-06:00

I ran today. App 4 or 4.5 miles. I normally run about a nine min mile or so, but I had to stop b/c of my knee... wah... which slowed me down, and then I was fine. I tried to make up my time by stepping it up a notch. My last mile was about an 8 min mile... which is great. But allow me to tell you the real reason why it was faster. I happened to glance around behind me when I was about a mile out, and I saw this man running behind me. He wasn't just any man... He reminded me a whole ton of Vin Diesel in the Pacifier. He was ripped, about thirty years old, and looked as if he could run an ultrathon in about twelve hours and be fine. BUT, not only was he in amazing shape, he was pushing a baby stroller. I was not about to let a thirty year old man with a baby stroller pass me. I don't care if he did have the amazing ability of running a 2:00 marathon- he was running with a baby. I could hear his breathing and the wheels rolling right behind me the whole rest of the way. (Then again, I was running by a highway, so maybe it was just cars?) Fortunately, my stop was before his, and I ended up a ways ahead of him. But steadily he tread on... That is most definitely dedication.

2010-01-19T23:10:00.000-06:00

I am completely new to this whole "blogging" thing, so please bear with me. I'm training to run in the San Diego Rock 'n' Roll Marathon as a member of The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's (LLS) Team in Training. I actually went to my first group run this past Saturday [at 6:30 in the morning... yes, there are two 6:30s a day, and the sun wasn't even up yet for this one.] I ran 7 miles, which is my LRE (longest run ever) [- I learned that term on Saturday!]
All of us participating in Team in Training are raising funds to help stop leukemia, lymphoma, Hodgkin lymphoma and myeloma from taking more lives. After my introductory courses in biology and chemistry (I don't wanna talk about it...) I believe that once we find a cure for one type of cancer we will not be far from finding a cure for all cancers. That said, the two people I am running this race in memory of did have cancer, just not blood cancer. Pawpaw (aka Bill Pittman, my mom's dad) passed away this past August from lung cancer- not developed from smoking. He was one of my closest friends, and I love him more than anything. He was so supportive of everything I did, and I miss him dearly. This Christmas was really hard without him. Every family get together was difficult knowing that there was one member who was not physically there with us and should have been. But I'm sure most of us know exactly what that feels like, so I won't dwell on it anymore. The other person I am running for is Ronnie Jones. He was my foster dad a long time ago, and he died this past spring from a brain tumor. I was living only an hour away from him in the months preceding his death, but I couldn't bring myself to visit him while he was in so much pain. I never regret anything, as everything is a learning experience, but that is the one thing I do regret-- not spending time with him. I did, however, learn from that mistake. But since I can't alter the past, I will do everything in my reasonable power to change the future. I don't want anyone else to have to go through what he and his family went through. There is a cure out there for cancer, and I want to help find it.
When I stop and think of what Pawpaw and Uncle Ron and their families- those nearest to them at the time- went through, it makes running 26.2 miles not seem like so much. Every time I slip on my tennis shoes I know that I can't complain. What I am doing in training is nothing compared to everything that they went through- and both stayed strong right up until the finish. And so will I. Running is the easy part. Raising money to find a cure for cancer- that takes serious dedication. I want to be able to share as much of this experience with you as I can.
If you've made it this far, thank you! Please visit my TNT homepage, even if just to look. If you have the ability to give- that is great! If not, prayer is the most powerful thing in the world. I would ask that you at least remember this cause in your prayers, if you are a praying person. Thank you!